Tired of pondering how to improve your game, only to be hit with the same, frankly tedious, reply of “get out there and work hard” from your coach?
How about a modern, scientific approach to helping you nail it out on the pitch? Research into the science of 'winning' goes to some pretty bizarre places. Here's a few studies you could point to for a quick-win at becoming a better player.
Manchester United. Toulon. Arsenal. Saracens.
You might think these four clubs, each of which have displayed their appetite for victory at some stage in their history, are victorious due to having the best players and coaches, or the biggest budget.
But you'd be wrong. One crucial, often overlooked, factor in their success is the colour they sport out on the pitch – namely red.
Seeing red has been shown to increase testosterone levels (which in turn boosts sports performance) in a variety of animals. Elsewhere, male dominance has also shown to increase when attaching a red stimuli in a number of non-human species. A study in Germany in 2009 also found that wearing red breeds confidence in sports participants, whilst appearing intimating to opposition players.
It might explain why, particularly in football, there is a disproportionately high tradition of winning teams wearing red.
As a long-life fan of red-wearing Barnsley FC however, I'll place this theory in the skeptical pile until we claim Premier League glory.
Sweat, dirt and last night's kebab are all common smells at your typical Sunday afternoon sporting event. From what we know, it does little to inflame a psychological boost in performance – but don't rule out your nostrils altogether.
A 2012 study from the Franklin University of Medicine and Science suggests that altogether more pleasant smells could have a positive influence on player performance.
Six Major League Baseball players took part in an experiment that saw them wear a band around their wrist as they went out to bat. They each took it in turns to wear a band that was either odourless cotton, or had been scented with Jasmine at a suprathreshold level (i.e. the wearer wouldn't consciously be able to smell the odour).
Each batter then went out to hit before players, coaches and the pitchers were asked to rate the hitting based on a number of criteria (everyone involved was unaware of the intention of the experiment or indeed what band they wore each time).
Improved performance was registered by both those playing and those watching when batters wore the infused wristbands. The study suggests jasmine may enhance athletic ability in sports requiring good hand-eye coordination (so cricketers, you're in luck).
Time to transform your changing rooms from beer-stenched pit to a flowery, scented paradise.
Scoring a goal in the FA cup final, haring around the pitch, shirt flapping above your head like helicopter blades whilst you're mobbed by appreciate fans; it's been etched into the minds of sportsmen and women across the globe as we dream of sporting glory.
In reality however, scoring in front of three blokes and a golden retriever down the local park leaves those over-elaborative celebrations looking a little...well, ridiculous.
According to a study from the University of Groningen however, you may have to cut through that mildly embarrassing feeling you get from celebrating like a bit of a nutter.
They found that, during penalty shootouts in football, those who celebrated more enthusiastically were more likely to end up on the winning team.
The explanation regards infectious behaviour. Copying other people's behaviour is part of our evolution; it's an important part of our survival instincts. And just like smiling or yawing are often infectious behaviours - so to it seems is a positive, winning attitude.
So next time you hit the back of the net, raise that dog aloft and let out a triumphant bellow – it might just help your team secure victory.
Performing under pressure is tough. Despite consistently nailing it on the training pitch, come match day the jelly legs and sweaty palms cause you to overthink the process when the game gets underway.
Thanks to science though, there may be a solution. Athletes playing football, judo and badminton were all found to perform better when squeezing a ball in their left hand before the game than those who did the same in their right hand.
The explanation? Take a deep breathe.
So, the left-hand side of your brain is responsible for rumination (the stressful feeling you get from over-thinking a sporting action and the consequences of messing it up), as well as controlling body movements from the right side of your body.
The right-side of your brain is more concerned with the performance of automated movements. Things like kicking a football or serving in tennis - they become second nature in training but less than simple during pressure moments. The right-side also deals with controlling movements on the left-side of your body.
What it all means is by squeezing a ball in your left hand, you activate the right-side of your brain – making it more likely you'll nail those skills despite the context surrounding them.
Simple.
It's well documented that high-carbohydrate sports drinks can replenish the right nutrients in your body – but studies suggest that the process takes as little as a swill around in your mouth.
Published in 2009, the Journal of Physiology reported the players could receive a performance boost via receptors in their mouth. Particular areas in your mouth are activated just by swishing the carbohydrate drinks around in there, which then sends certain signals to your brain.
Linked to pleasure and reward, the sensation helped athlete's work harder during activity without feeling like they were.
The study involved eight cyclists, who underwent exercise testing on a stationary bike. The cyclists were found to perform better when swilling the carbohydrate drinks than when they did the same with water flavoured with artificial sweetener.
In what's quickly becoming the most bizarre pre-match ritual of all time, we've got a third process you can add to drink swilling and squeezing your left hand.
We all know that keeping the light on at night helps you to stay awake and alert for longer, so can it have a positive effect on your performance on the pitch? According to some blokes from the European University of Madrid, yes.
43 male participants were seen to work significantly harder during a bicycle ergometer test after they had been exposed to bright lights as opposed to dim light.
Better clear out so of the club budget for some indoor, changing room-sized floodlights.